Thought from INSEAD Alumni Forum and Being on the Off-the-Beaten-Track Panel Discussion
On arrival in Singapore Friday evening, as I was withdrawing cash from the UOB ATM in Changi Airport's arrival hall, these words of wisdom by a Chinese philosopher flashed on the screen: "A path is made by walking it."
It was particularly apt since I was in town to participate on a panel discussion titled, "Off-the-Beaten-Track Alumni Stories" at yesterday's INSEAD Alumni Forum. When I was first approached to join the panel, two things flashed through my mind: 1. I don't like public speaking and 2. I don't consider myself to be off-the-beaten-track. So I jumped at the opportunity to challenge myself and the assumptions behind the title of the panel.
Preceding the panel discussion, Fabrice Desmarescaux (director of Spencer Stuart Singapore) gave an entertaining and interesting talk, "Debunking career management myths: straight-talking from a headhunter". He made a lot of points that our panel was able to build on: there are three phases to building a career (experience-building, leadership and freedom), it's good to have career accidents (as long as you learn from and survive them of course), and my favourite point was that those who have high ability and low interest in what they do are in "hell".
When I responded to a question about how people find out what their true passions are, I had simply remarked that people know deep down what they want, but simply lack the confidence or courage to admit or act. But it has never made sense to me that these same people, many of whom I would even consider brilliant, would let their fears get in the way of personal fulfillment: why do people who know they are in "hell" choose to stay in "hell"? It only occured to me this morning that the real fear for many people who have succeeded and shone within the system (schools, corporations, among friends and family) might be the fear of no longer being seen as a "star", no longer feeling the warmth and comfort of their brilliance reflected back to them through praise, rewards, recognition and status. It is different from a fear of failure, because they may know they can succeed in their desired endeavour, but they may also know that success does not come with a US$2 million a year package and all the attachments that such money can buy. The real fear is not that they will no longer be successful, but that they will no longer be told that they are successful.
Of course, I believe that each of us is here to make our own path by walking it (hence, there are an infinite number of paths, not just the two options of being on or off the beaten path). And I believe the only way to truly shine from within is to be true to who we are. Having said that, I know this is much easier said than done; it's a lifelong endeavour and one is never quite certain of having achieved it or not (but then, it's always about the journey, not the destination). We all have moments of self-doubt and insecurity. And in those moments, we all crave praise, recognition or even simply assurance that we are good. The trick is to be satisfied with being the best that we can be without chasing for the recognition that who we are is the best among all others.
As John W. Gardner quotes Josh Billings in his very inspiring book, Self-Renewal: The Individual & The Innovative Society: "It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself, but the most inconvenient one too." And that inconvenient thing is that we are all merely mortal; even the most brilliant star will one day die and fade into darkness.
It was particularly apt since I was in town to participate on a panel discussion titled, "Off-the-Beaten-Track Alumni Stories" at yesterday's INSEAD Alumni Forum. When I was first approached to join the panel, two things flashed through my mind: 1. I don't like public speaking and 2. I don't consider myself to be off-the-beaten-track. So I jumped at the opportunity to challenge myself and the assumptions behind the title of the panel.
Preceding the panel discussion, Fabrice Desmarescaux (director of Spencer Stuart Singapore) gave an entertaining and interesting talk, "Debunking career management myths: straight-talking from a headhunter". He made a lot of points that our panel was able to build on: there are three phases to building a career (experience-building, leadership and freedom), it's good to have career accidents (as long as you learn from and survive them of course), and my favourite point was that those who have high ability and low interest in what they do are in "hell".
When I responded to a question about how people find out what their true passions are, I had simply remarked that people know deep down what they want, but simply lack the confidence or courage to admit or act. But it has never made sense to me that these same people, many of whom I would even consider brilliant, would let their fears get in the way of personal fulfillment: why do people who know they are in "hell" choose to stay in "hell"? It only occured to me this morning that the real fear for many people who have succeeded and shone within the system (schools, corporations, among friends and family) might be the fear of no longer being seen as a "star", no longer feeling the warmth and comfort of their brilliance reflected back to them through praise, rewards, recognition and status. It is different from a fear of failure, because they may know they can succeed in their desired endeavour, but they may also know that success does not come with a US$2 million a year package and all the attachments that such money can buy. The real fear is not that they will no longer be successful, but that they will no longer be told that they are successful.
Of course, I believe that each of us is here to make our own path by walking it (hence, there are an infinite number of paths, not just the two options of being on or off the beaten path). And I believe the only way to truly shine from within is to be true to who we are. Having said that, I know this is much easier said than done; it's a lifelong endeavour and one is never quite certain of having achieved it or not (but then, it's always about the journey, not the destination). We all have moments of self-doubt and insecurity. And in those moments, we all crave praise, recognition or even simply assurance that we are good. The trick is to be satisfied with being the best that we can be without chasing for the recognition that who we are is the best among all others.
As John W. Gardner quotes Josh Billings in his very inspiring book, Self-Renewal: The Individual & The Innovative Society: "It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself, but the most inconvenient one too." And that inconvenient thing is that we are all merely mortal; even the most brilliant star will one day die and fade into darkness.
posted by 10000miles at 12:46
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